Literal Poetry

 I still find myself feeling somewhat shaky

Right before the first day of every month

Sometimes I cry 

I don't expect anything at all from anyone 

And yet 

The part of me that dreamed of him 

Suddenly comes up from the grave 

Gasping for air 

I try to quiet it as best as I can 

"Darling... My sweet darling.... You did all you could. Lay without anxiety in your final resting place... This dream has died... It has been long gone. Don't be anxious, anymore. There are no questions left unanswered. There is nothing more to it than the certainty of the Sound of all endings... The sound of silence. "

And so

I try to reprogram my heart 

Not to beat faster right before the 1st day of every month 

I just let all numbers and dates fly in a big cloud

I try to lose count 

I release it all 

So that it all lands where it belongs 

For all I know tomorrow could very well be the 32nd, or the 110th...

Why not? 

No difference whatsoever 

I will also name this month differently 

Just for the heck of it 

It holds some of my most precious treasures in life 

Maybe it's name is Jewely

And Jewely never ends, does it? 

It never ends 

And so I start from a solid point of infinity

A point of existence 

I return to the things that do exist 

I return to me 

I exist 

I am timeless 

I love beyond anything that can be changed 

I ask for nothing 

I just keep living 

I love me 

I am safe 

I am free

I am free 

I am free