Walking into 2024 like :

 

End of an era. 

Onwards. 

Happy New Year to all. 🎆🎇

Literal Poetry

 Καθώς σε χαζεύω και σε περιεργάζομαι μέσα στην καρδιά μου 

Αναρωτιέμαι καμιά φορά 

Από τι να είσαι φτιαγμένος; 

Από χρυσάφι, από πέτρα, από λάσπη ή από αστέρια... 

Ψάχνω να βρω το υλικό σου

Φορές φορές μοιάζεις ακαθόριστος 

Καταλήγω ότι μάλλον είσαι ένα κράμα 

Απ'έξω τείχη πέτρινα, αδιαπέραστα - κατά περίπτωση -, βράχοι τεράστιοι με λάσπη και κοφτερή μεταλλική περίφραξη 

Κι από τις μικρές τρύπες στην πέτρα που βγαίνουν τα κανόνια, αχνοφαίνονται δυό όπλα, 

τα μάτια σου

Ξεχύνεται μια λάμψη από αστέρια στην ευθεία της συνάντησης των βλεμμάτων 

Ακολουθώντας την 

Καταλήγω πάντοτε κάπου στην Ιαπωνία 

Εκεί όταν σπάει κάτι το κρατάνε και το επιδιορθώνουν 

Κολλάνε τα σπασμένα κομμάτια με χρυσάφι 

Και το κρατούν για πάντα σαν κάτι πολύτιμο 

Όπως η καρδιά σου 

Που την κοιτάζω καθώς λάμπουν οι μεταλλικές ενώσεις 

Παράσημα της ζωής σου 

Εσύ, με τα γυμνά χέρια σου, τεχνίτης 

Πως θα ήθελα να ξέρω με κάθε λεπτομέρεια κάθε χρυσαφένια ρωγμή της... 

Και με πόση υπομονή έν(ι)ωσες τα κομμάτια 

Ήθελα τόσο πολύ να σε μάθω 

Το είχα ανάγκη, δεν ξέρω γιατί 

Πριν και τώρα και πάντα 

Το είχα ανάγκη 

Να σε καταλάβω 

Να σε αγαπήσω 

Τι σπάνιο... 

 

Unpopular Opinion : Hope and pessimism walk hand in hand.

 Kiki Dimoula, a Greek poet, once said in an interview : 

"I believe, and I am right, that the kind of people who associate themselves with the notion of hope more, are the pessimists."

And I couldn't agree more. 

I am a pessimist and a dreamer. 

It wasn't always so.

I wasn't born a pessimist. 

 It was forced upon me, life happened, as one might say. 

And so in every breath I take 

I look for hope with my eyes wide open 

Every second of every day

As something that was once mine but not anymore

And my life's purpose is to reunite with it one day 

And maybe together we will walk a little further to become something even greater : 

unshakable faith...

Who knows?

Thoughts...

 I was doing my daily chores as per usual today 

And while I was cleaning my cat's litter box

 (What a time to ponder upon the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence! 😂) 

I thought to myself :

"When you are happy : Chop wood and carry water. 

When you are sad: Chop wood and carry water." 

Paraphrasing the well known quote :

And then I thought... 

"Hm... Everything that matters at all is so simple..." 

And I have no idea why 

But I can feel so much affection in that... 

It feels like life is overflowing through the mandain with such ease 

How greatful I felt for my routine 

How greatful I felt when I realized that we are the vessels, the sky fills us up with the love we are intended to share through the seemingly mandain and repetitive tasks of our hands... 

Love is action 

I am blessed because I love and I am loved 

In full action

I am blessed to still be able to experience the mandain 

We are all blessed 

Beauty and happiness 

Flows through it slowly, simply, quietly, completely... 

And then I remembered this other quote : 

Engaging into the mandain lovingly makes all the difference in the world... 

Wishing us all a loving, kind, exciting New Year!🙏🏻🌠 

Back to the Basics : Unpopular Opinion - Undiscovered potential

Realism and critical thinking are overrated.

There. I said it. Again!😅

As we grow older keeping our connection to the unfathomable miracle of life gets harder, but it can still be possible, if we decide to not give up on it...

We are part of that miracle, you see...

Our social constructs, and agreements upon things are the illusion of our collective control over something we shouldn't fear at all and have no actual control over...*

(They are fixed cement walls around a potential that grows rapidly by the shift of our awareness...

They sometimes block the sun. It's some sort of pretending we got everything figured out. 

But those walls can quickly become the very cages for our concioussness.) 

*The order of chaos in existence that is a crucial ingredient in all creation.

There is some sort of power that keeps giving.

An everpresent sustaining force. 

The logical mind can only go so far....

"Knowledge is limited. Imagination circles the world." - Albert Einstein

And what if imagination and intuition - amongst other gifts we have decided to not activate - also CREATE this world.

If cells in your body, or in a plant are present to create through performing their specific tasks, what makes us think that humans, if thought of as cells as well  from a broader, universal, perspective, don't possess that same power.

Existence makes no mistakes. It is broader and bigger than any social contract.

The precision and detail of it is outstanding. 

What if our differences are to be acknowledged as our own creative adventurous paths? 

What if existence needs those operational differences for specific reasons?

We are so much more than what we end up experiencing...

Do you agree that we are souls incarnating in a human experience, or not?

That's where the potential of witnessing the miracles is.

"Those who don't believe in magic , will never find it" - Roald Dahl

That's why it's called a "leap of faith".

❤️

"We are all just walking each other home." - Ram Dass

Ps. Always keep a window open for the impossible. ✨

Literal Poetry

Αγάπη; 

Για ποια αγάπη μου μιλάτε... 

Δεν ξέρετε τι λέτε... 

Αφήστε το καλύτερα. 

Hopes, Dreams and Sorrows

(Disclaimer : This only applies in Romantic Relationships. Family bonds are different.) 

 The more I live

The more I notice the way certain men think, act and exist 

The more I lose my hope in men as a gender...

My interest as well. 

They are so freaking predictable in my eyes. 

My heart drops, everytime. 

All my life, I have strived to find reasons to respect them

Because of my history, I was determined to prove to myself that they are not these superficial creatures 

I just hoped they could be trustworthy, openhearted and dignified 

I hoped they knew how to keep their word

Or how to withstand the storms

I was convinced that they certainly did have a heart, somewhere behind this stereotypical foolishness and that they had some kind of discernment 

I now think that was unbearably cute and naive of me 

They didn't deserve such a hope 

They like it just fine as it is. 

It suits them. 

They wouldn't change for anyone, unless they had something to gain by changing

How unbelievably unattractive of them... 

To my own devastation... 

I am afraid I have only grown to witness how - at least most - men are completely incapable of love... 

And I have yet to be proven wrong. 

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeFJtL6R/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeFJCYWQ/

 

Literal Poetry

 He believed I was obsessed.

That was what hurt me the most. 

Even more than his silence. 

It was the final straw... 

This belief of his 

Made me feel so powerless. 

It clipped my wings. 

I didn't want to try anymore. 

I felt betrayed by his point of view... 

It was an insult

I gave him my heart 

And it looked as if he laughed at me 

So be it. 

It was right in front of him! 

So close to his reach.... 

But he just, missed all of it... 

As if he was deaf

Blind

I was not angry. 

How could I be... 

I was sad... 

I have accepted that he could just not see me 

No

Let me be clear 

He just couldn't love me 

He didn't want to believe in me...

He could not see it 

And so... 

Just like that

Once and for all... 

He... 

He let me go

Dream Journal...

Σε ονειρεύτηκα...

Καθόμουν στα πόδια σου και κάτι προσπαθούσα να γράψω 

.Μα με τραβούσες συνέχεια επάνω σου για να με φιλήσεις... 

Φιλάς ωραία και στα όνειρα...

Something True...

 How to Open a Woman

It's not WHERE a man touches his woman as much as HOW he touches her that makes her feel safe.

It's not HOW he touches her as WHY he's touching her that causes her to open.

It's not WHY he's touching her as much as WHO he has chosen to be and how he has chosen to live in the moments, hours, days and weeks leading up to touching her.

It's not his TOUCH that matters as much as the energy of his INTENT.

And when all of these are aligned it's not a touch needed to make her shudder, but a word, a breath or even just his gaze.

This is not a dream, a myth or an impossibly romantic fantasy of a man - it is the potential inherent in every man. It requires that he dare to own and live the magnificence of his potential, to show up in the world with the courage to fulfill his responsibilities, keep his word, overcome challenges and abandon his excuses.

There is no METHOD that conquers the world, it's the CHOICE to fulfill one's potential. And there is no TECHNIQUE that opens a woman, it's the ENERGY of his intention.~

~Graham R White

Literal Poetry

 So, my personal understanding is...

We both triggered each other's trauma, in a big way, but also : unintentionally. 

(I don't know if you believe in 'soul contracts') 

And instead of sticking it out to reach some kind of healing, understanding and resolution, 

we just let it tear us apart. 

But you see lessons don't work this way. 

It will keep happening

And it will not keep happening because 'life is a b*tch' 

It will keep happening because we keep abandoning the lessons before they are complete. 

There was more to this, I know there was...

There was so much sweetness after all the bitterness... 

But this story is being written by two people. 

No matter what happens 

We were both impacted 

Maybe not in the same magnitude 

But still... 

And although I don't want to think that 

All these years of me trying were in vain. 

I have reached a point where I can accept that failure is a possibility as well.

I have detouched from it all. 

I accept it all as our one true life.  

We can make it or fail together. 

I accept it because to me it doesn't matter in a broader sense... 

I love you, anyway. 

I am sorry for my mistakes... You should know they were unintentional... I hope you really know that by now. 

I would protect your heart at any cost...to the best of my human ability... 

I respect you and I wish you the best... 

If I could ask for something, as a little favor... 

Since you couldn't be the one who stays in my life... 

Please, find it in you, to be the one who stays for the one you love... 

Don't hide... You are glorious... 

I can see you 

Please do not walk away anymore... 

Please stay... 

Stay... 

Stay with them... 

Withstand the storms! 

True Love is worth it!!! 

It's worth it! 

You may be pleasantly surprised... 

They may release their resistance and love you back ferociously 

Patterns don't always mean the same thing... 

I hope you always have the strength to keep choosing to stay with the ones you love 

I hope you always win in Love 

I hope you see this human experience for what it is 

A school for all of us 

There is no ego strong enough to hide from True Love. 

I love you 

I love you 

Oh, I love you 

And thank you for guiding me through life, to the best of your ability. 

Your words hold my hand through this life 

You do your best, I know you do. 

I recognize you. 

I only have unspeakable tenderness and respect for you. 

I hope to meet you in another life 

And I hope we both choose to stay, then. 

❤️

Ps. If this was a soul contract, then I want to thank you for keeping your word, thank you for showing up, from the bottom of my heart. Forgive me... 🙏🏻

Literal Poetry

 Sometimes I am not in the mindset to be with other people

The older I get, the less I want to try unless I am already fully charged and ready for the extrovert experience. 

Who am I if I am not me at all times? 

I have accepted that sometimes I can mix brilliantly while other times, when I "have to" attend a function let's say,before I am fully charged, I can be extremely socially awkward. It varies. 

Reason being is that I am not always ready to be seen by the world. 

I express in vulnerability and complete honesty

I live in deep waters, I dive so deep 

I pass through stages

I am working on my self, my life 

I am healing

I take my time

I experience everything deeply 

I experience life in ebbs and flows 

And if I go out to mix with people before I am all the way at the surface, a part of me will still be missing 

On those occasions I feel kind of unsafe, like a wobbly table, or an arrow that can only miss the mark repeatedly. 

I am vulnerable, pure, open and unprepared in a heavily sheltered and bulletproof world that requires a certain amount of ease and speed in that extroverted scope of existence. 

I bathe myself in the stillness of my heart 

And sometimes in social events 

It does feel as if I am forcefully dragging myself up to my surface just to be present, polite and safe and relevant at the same time. Because I do care! It's like I am trying to multi-task while only having half a brain, and half a body. I'm just not fully there yet! I haven't fully arrived...

I usually need more time... 

What a recipe for disaster in communication. 

And for a person like me, that used to know I can heavily depend on my previously naturally overflowing social abilities,my timing, my punchlines... this change can feel a little unsettling sometimes.

What force have I imposed on my best ally in life, my own self for so many years to reach a standard that does not nourish me...what for? 

It's weird. 

When I was younger I used to abide easier, quicker. I knew how to suppress myself. It was a switch that I am just not willing to press anymore. 

Talking about survival coping skills... I was the best at it! 

I am so glad I don't care about it anymore! I'm so glad I can just finally be as I feel! 

I am so greatful to be surrounded, understood and loved by the people I have chosen to be in my life! ❤️

As I grow, I tend to aknowledge and honour my own rhythm first as a commitment of self-care and a profound vow of self love. 

It takes courage to show up as the true you all the time because society wasn't built to accept it. 

It takes courage to show up feeling shaken,wobbly, feeling unsure, feeling half there. 

It takes courage to not attempt to conceal it to hide from the judgment of others who seemingly walk this earth always prepared for everything 

I am not ashamed to confess 

I am painfully unprepared for it all, I always have been. 

I am finding my way around by closing my eyes 

I seek myself inside, constantly 

I never want to lose this sacred connection again 

It has been a whole lifetime of me violating it repeatedly by being on other people's timing, terms and conditions willingly... 

And then I discovered that in that kind of sacrifice, I am sacrificing myself...

For no apparent reason. 

I am changing 

And I accept my awkwardness wholeheartedly 

I am embracing it. 

Yes, I can be awkward, and that is OK with me. 

I am a process. I am the moon. 

It just means I am working on something else at the same time. 

Internally. 

And I cherish those who can accept me in my process and find me there and respect me and choose me in all my phases

That world that only meets me whenever I come up for air is essential periodically but not the deciding factor of my wholesome experience anymore. 

Who gets to decide? 

I do. 

And, apparently, that is the best kind of "I do" that will ever come out of me. 

Literal Poetry

 

I wish the veil could be lifted 

I wish you could finally see me 

As I really am... 

But it's out of my hands 

Your perception of me is yours to have 

And after all these years of fighting to make a point, I have finally reached this moment , where I can accept any misconception you may have about me. 

I accept it. 

It's ok. 

I have come to terms with it all. 

I am at peace. 

I am not mad at you. 

I'm not even offended, or triggered... 

I understand. 

There's nothing left for me to do, be or say. 

I did it all, I did my very best. 

I really did try. 

I'm sorry, it seems like I completely missed the mark... 

But I really did try... 

With my whole heart. 

Maybe in another life... 

A.

*Oops... 🥴😎😂🤗

Literal Poetry

 I think I get it... 

It's not that you don't possess the ability to rationaly understand where I am coming from.

I know this much. 

It's that you can't because you don't love me back and so it all looks irrational and out of place to you.

That's all 

As if I am speaking in a frequency you can't quite tap into. 

You just don't love me in order for your heart to translate it. 

You treat me like I am ordinary, or even worse, crazy

But I am not 

I am in love, you see. 

And you aren't. 

I guess it's as simple as that. 

So you're like : "Chill out! What's all this fuss about? Just take a breather. "

This is the main reason why you find it all so weird. 

Unfortunately, what I am saying will never be able to hit home... 

I could put myself on fire and you'd be like "What an odd thing to do..." while shrugging your shoulders indifferently... Instead of putting it out to save me. 

We are in completely different frequencies. 

I just need to accept it. 

It is what it is. 

You will never be able to get it because you don't feel it so any argument I could ever have just crumbles... 

There is nothing I could ever do or say! 

It is all doomed. 

You have decided with your head. 

Once and for all. 

Case closed. 

Literal Poetry

 Κι αν φταίει ότι θέλω απλώς να δοκιμάσω;

Είναι τόσο κακό αυτό...;

Γιατί; 

Πες ότι πιστεύω κάτι και κάνω λάθος! 

Πες ότι έχω πέσει τελείως έξω! 

Πες ότι στο τέλος τρώω τη μούρη μου! 

Και λοιπόν; 

Έλα και δείξε μου! Δείξε μου! 

Πόσες σχέσεις έρχονται με εγγύηση; 

Θα σου πω αμέσως: Καμία. Ποτέ. 

Ούτε ο γάμος δεν είναι εγγύηση.... 

ΔΕΝ ΥΠΑΡΧΟΥΝ ΕΓΓΥΗΣΕΙΣ!!! 

Μόνο προθέσεις! 

Η μόνη ηθική είναι 

Να είμαστε με αυτούς που μας δημιουργούν τη θέληση να δοκιμάσουμε... 

Να είμαστε με αυτούς για τους οποίους χτυπάει η καρδιά μας! 

Αυτό είναι ολόκληρη η ζωή μας... Σε όλα τα θέματα... 

Τίποτε άλλο. 

Λοιπόν, ναι... 

Το μόνο που ήθελα ήταν να δοκιμάσω... Και το ήθελα πολύ! Δε ντρέπομαι γι αυτό γιατί δεν είναι ντροπή να ξέρεις τι θέλεις... 

Ήθελα... Τίμια... 

Να δώσω την πρώτη μου πραγματική ευκαιρία...

Στην Αγάπη... 

 

That's by Bertolt Brecht, by the way. 

Και κάτι ακόμη:

Υγ. Κι αν........ 

Αν είχε τη δυνατότητα να είναι υπέροχο...;

Αυτές τις απαντήσεις τις έχει μόνο η ζωή... 

Αυτή που ζούμε κι αυτή που δε ζήσαμε. 

Literal Poetry

I can be a little harsh when I am hurt

It's my defense mechanism 

But you should know 

I hear you 

Always 

Not a word you say gets dropped 

They are all handpicked and tenderly placed inside my bosom's garden 

Your words keep working on me for great periods of time 

Maybe even years 

You haunt me 

I let you love me and hurt me there 

Inside my bosom's garden

Inside my sacred space 

Defenseless 

I accept you fully as you are 

I inhale you like oxygen 

I bloom and wilt 

All of my cells know you by heart 

Literal Poetry

Αφού στο είπα...το ξέρεις... 

Σε χρειάζομαι... 

Εσένα... Μόνο εσένα. 

Και πάντα έτσι θα είναι... 

Γιατί σ'αγαπώ...

Έλα να μου δείξεις...

Δείξε μου, Αγάπη μου...