Synaptic Bloom

 So I was watching this movie on Netflix called "My Oxford Year" 

where an American goes to Oxford for her studies and she meets a guy that turns out to be her professor 

Long story short they come closer 

But later in the movie he kind of becomes distant and gradually disappears 

She finds out it's because he's terminally ill and she decides to put an end to the life she was planning to have for her self to be with him until the end. 

Because she loved him... 

It's women stuff, ok? 

If you are a man you probably won't understand. 

And so now, I am sitting here crying because I am anxious by him being silent and hate to make a correlation like this one but everything reminds me of him and I would have clearly done the same because I am crazy for him and I just wish he is well and thriving because I love him and maybe I shouldn't have watched this movie because it really wasn't helpful - at all - but I unfortunately have! Unless of course my aim for watching it, indeed, was a mini panic attack. In that case, yey🎉 

I hate him for loving him so much 😭

Do you understand? 

Again... It's very much a women's thing... 

The frustration is real. 

I hope he is well! Oh God I seriously do!!! 

I'm not, but I guess that's off topic. ✌🏻😭😭😭

Any movie suggestions would be life saving right now... 

(No more love stories please! I should seriously stay away from that stuff.... Maybe invest more time in sci-fi 🤖) 

Thanks... 😭😭😭