Letters to AP

Just... 

Come get me... 

Find me and come get me... 

I am right here... 

Can you see me...? 

I don't know what else to do for you to finally find me... 

I've tried everything... 

But you never come... 

The years go by so fast... 

Yes, I get anxious... I know that's not particularly appealing but I care... Do you understand...? It's been too long!!! 

You either trust the Universe more than I do or you just don't give a damn and that's why you can afford being as chill about everything... 

Which of the two is it...? 

My personal Mr Iceberg... 

I am here now

Can you feel me...? 

Still... 

I don't know what tomorrow will bring 

Do you...? 

You just let so much time pass us by... 

So much time... 

It is impossible for you to love me... 

You wouldn't be able to conceive another minute away from me... 

Just like I do... 

This distance torments me 

It's eating me away 

I guess whoever it is... The one you love... 

It never was me... 

I remember I asked you once 

You were standing right in front of me 

I remember every detail about you that day 

What you were wearing 

What you were drinking 

How you were looking at me 

I came to you and told you :

"You must understand! You must! Have you not felt love, real love for anyone in your life???" 

I waited for you to respond with my heart pounding like crazy 

Then... Your face changed... You looked downwards and away... 

"Damn..." I thought... "He's remembering that person right now... It's not me... He's looking away..." 

And then doubt creeps in... You doubt yourself... You can never be certain... What if I misjudged him... What if... What if..... 

I guess you never came for me 

I needed you to cut through the bullshit like a sword or through me like a sword 

I needed you to come get me or to deliver me from my suffering so bad 

You never did 

The years kept going by 

You have been playing to lose me with unmatched consistency... 

I guess I will be lonely... 

I need to stop anticipating... If you could feel my heart... If you had recognized me... 

You would have swept in before the pain

Before the tears 

Before the grief

Before the passing of the years

You would have protected me from all of it

You would have kept your word... 

Ps.