Synaptic Bloom

 All this talk about "black cats" and "golden retrievers" in relationship dynamics... And how the woman needs to be the "black cat " at all times...

But... Guys... 

How about the simple fact that when a woman is the "black cat" it's because she doesn't really care?It's a "meh" zone... Helloooo? Get it? 

Are we going to talk about that, oooor..... 

Or is it maybe that this has nothing to do with colours or animals but with men prefering those who don't care about them, because they can never truly be conquered by them and they know it...thus producing the hormones that make them feel alive, in love with a fantasy of the woman and never with the woman herself? 

In other words, I guess my question is, why would a bloody true woman cave in to those stupid clichés when all they are is obstacles towards any kind of true connection?!They are fear of intimacy! Can't anyone see that? 

They are escapism!

So, who wants to live their whole life like that? 

I certainly don't. 

How about we become real again? How about making trembling cool... Exhitement cool... Blushing cool... S-T-A-Y-I-N-G COOL... Real unfiltered feelings cool... Who the f are we performing for? 

Eat grass! 

I am Woman. 

I do not comply. I will not run in order for you to catch me. 

Zannou don't run for noone.-

Zannou doesn't "entertain". 

I will sit in my garden and keep multiplying. 

If I love you, you already know. 

I am standing on it, chances are I have created a garden for you, too. 

For the rest :

I am not playing hard to get. 

I'm just not interested. 

I will never be a black cat. It's an insult to my heart. 

I live free from societal expectations . 

I am not a mystery. 

I am not a fantasy. 

I am WOMAN. 

I am me. 

I have a past, a present and a future. 

I am only human. 

I bleed every month. 

If I love, I love wholeheartedly and if I don't, I don't. 

There is no inbetween. 

Hunters, be gone. 

I will sit too still for your preference. 

I will intentionally try to bore you to death... 

To my surprise, even that is not enough... 

I am not here to run from love. 

I am here to let it pass through me 

Not like an arrow 

Like sunlight

But it has to be naked of masks

Pure 

True and deep

I am done with the foolishness. 

And that is why, I know I will probably be alone forever. 

Because men only entertain games. 

Good for them and good luck to their endeavors. 

I guess "I still haven't found what I am looking for" 

And also I am not looking for anything at all at the same time. 

I know what to expect now and I am just not interested in the slightest for the type of dynamics it has to offer. 

I prefer solitude over lies. 

But one thing about me :

I was for real. 

I gave real life chances... 

So I am content, because I did my best... In complete honesty. 

Time to start new now... 

2025 is the time to wave goodbye to the past. 

I've waited enough. 

All my dreams and expectations wilted. 

I died by tears and fire. 

I have grieved all the deaths. 

I will live for me, now. 

Simply. Delightfully. Softly. Privately. 

Wishing a pleasant hunting season for the little hunters. (they are always little in my eyes) 

Although I was named after one... 

I was born a lover. A protector. 

If you see my "arrow" glistening it is not because I claim you as mine 

It is because I am pointing towards your nearest exit. (meaning I want you gone) 

The games are an insult to love. 

They are an insult to my heart. 

An insult to the life we've had to overcome to get here. 

One thing about me is 

I prefer to be lonely than projected upon 

I will either love and be loved properly 

Or stay the f away. 

I am completely content with my solitude. 

In fact it's probably the best f thing that ever happened to me since birth. 

Art by John William - "The Soul of the Rose", 1908

(John understood the assignment.)