Literal Poetry

 I know I wasn't particularly graceful at letting you go

I know 

Forgive me for my humanness 

My pain was true and raw and very real

Not because letting go was new to me 

But because 

This time 

- after soooo many bloody times - 

I was reeeeeally hoping 

That I wouldn't have to.......not again... 

Like some form of Universal Justice served 

Towards my heart 

Alas... 

As much as I wanted you to stay 

I never believed you would 

I LITERALLY NEVER 

NOT ONCE 

GENUINLY

BELIEVED IN MY HEART 

THAT YOU WOULD STAY 

As if the thing I wanted the most 

Had a slim chance to ever happen 

Not because of a feeling of low self esteem 

No. 

But because of the deep rooted belief that the kind of  happiness I was looking for, the vision planted in my heart is rare and that it takes a miracle for someone to

 make such a dream come true... In this kind of world where everything wonderful is SO BLOODY DIFFICULT, if not considered utopian. 

In other words, I let my observation of probabilities in the world around me, become my subconcious idea of what was possible and what was not possible for me as part of that world. 

As a result 

I believed in my heart - from the moment I met you - 

That you were never possible for me. 

Boom. 

The chance would be slimmer than the moon right before eclipse.

And I never believed it could happen. 

Things I wanted less, were more possible because there was no gap in my thinking process about them. They were easy and probable statistically. It was already proven by life. 

Point blank period. 

I had made my mind up at hello that this was some kind of mission impossible. 

And of course that fact determined the outcome of the whole thing. 

You get what you expect, you see... 

Not what you want 

So, if my story speaks to anyone 

Please, if you are like me.... 

Try to change your inner narrative and connect to your inner enthusiast again 

Close your ears and eyes to every single fact that contradicts your dream... 

I know life tends to suck that enthusiasm out of us, sometimes 

Trust me, I know... 

But please 

Expect the best for yourself... 

Stop looking at the facts, they don't matter 

It's mind over matter! 

Lay down your definitions and core beliefs about everything 

And debug them from the world's pollution 

From your own fear and pain

From your own past

When you are new, Life is new

If your heart is pure... 

Always expect that the things you dream of can happen to you...

🙏🏻❤️‍🔥