Synaptic Bloom

 Damn...

We've completely lost our grace... 

I'm not talking about false politeness 

I'm talking about real grace... 

At least his silence has some grace in it 

I will give him that. 

It pains me to say this

But I still admire him

Because he knows how to play in the rules of these disgraceful times

I have no shame to admit that I don't 

I do not feel like I belong here at all 

I understand he is protecting himself as he sees fit 

I don't understand why he is protecting himself from me 

But that's something that I will probably never know as things seem to be going. 

I on the other hand feel like I am in a permanent shock and disbelief sometimes whenever I look around

Oh, and let us not forget to mention the discomfort... 

I mean... Does it take a Neurodivergent person to say the hard part out loud? 

WE ARE DOING IT WRONG, GUYS!!! 

EVERYTHING! 

It just crashes my spirit, everytime. 

It's just so overwhelming... 

Or better yet underwhelming...

Or even both at times... 

And scary... It scares me. I don't know how to cope with this world alone. I do my best... But I just wasn't made for it... 

When did we become so bad at life? 

We've made impossible knots out of everything 

Why...

There's no kindness left 

Everything is about harsh, cold, facts and numbers 

But I am a soft, warm, human... 

Did you know that our eyes were mostly made for us to be able to stare at the leaves of a tree while they are dancing to the breeze? 

Our very bodies were not meant to be living like we do today 

We were not made to be taking these kinds of decisions 

This kind of daily existence 

We are crossing a line can you not hear the alarms going off??? 

I just submerged myself into the water and took care of my body and skin 

Lotions and oils and perfume 

I had to feel like Cleopatra or even slightly more human again 

A human woman living in an inhumane world

Had to somehow connect to my inner happiness again 

Adorn myself in some kind of tender hope 

Have it bring me back to life 

Whatever that may be nowadays 

I wouldn't know... 

Everything out there looks so devoid of true meaning and of any kind of pure intention 

It sucks the life out of me 

Thank goodness that I am surrounded by good people who are kind and pure and have good intentions about life and they keep going... 

They inspire me to do the same 

We all inspire each other, fuel each other 

It never ends 

And that is a blessing I will forever be grateful for.......