Literal Poetry

 It still hurts

But this time the pain is different. 

It has more sporadic creshendos where it all feels overwhelming and futile 

And the rest of the time it feels as if a switch has been pulled and it turns off

It's like touching the same part of your body over and over again until you stop feeling it 

But it's more than just being numb 

I somehow feel like I am at peace... 

I have the ability to distance myself and observe me in my humaness 

I observe myself while allowing my full emotional expression to take place any time, any where and unfold in full honesty 

What??? 

I guess I am growing... 

I've literally done my best and I know I have 

As in '"I have showed up as my authentic self' 

I am proud of my courage to be open and vulnerable 

Wow..... 

If you ask me, I think I am badass.

This heartbreak released me from the fear I had to not do or say the wrong things 

WHO CARES? 

If you just say the truth, there is nothing to worry about 

Because "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!" 

I think I am more experienced now 

I am so greatful that even heartbreak comes with gifts 

Because I am ready to create and receive the life I deserve.

With or without him. 

He has made his choice. 

And I need to make mine because I only have me... 

You can love a person forever

And still keep going without them. 

And maybe one day even the depth of my pain will keep decreasing 

Was this our ideal outcome ? 

Absolutely not.

Is it heartbreaking? 

Yes. Yes it is.

And it makes us feel all kinds of ways... 

But... 

Do we trust in the life we have been given? 

Well... Sometimes, when I get sucked in momentarily by my pain and grief, I don't... 

But when the darkness dissipates, I do trust that here we are only human beings and it is impossible for us to see the bigger picture

There are so many elements that might escape our senses 

Maybe life can surprise us along the way 

Maybe it will show us the reason why everything had to happen the way it did 

Maybe our personal justice is not meant to come from the people who hurt us 

But in another form that is more meaningful to us... 

Maybe the very fact that we don't know where or how our personal justice will find us 

Is also part of the process of trusting the great big unknown 

Which is always the part of us we are most resisting to aknowledge.