Literal Poetry

 Through the pain I've had to endure 

I was cut open all over, repeatedly 

I was never chosen by my chosen ones

They were three all together in my life. 

It's a rare occurance for me to feel this way. 

I was never chosen by you

I was always chosen by those I didn't care about or couldn't love at all 

Love exists or it doesn't 

I have reached a certain level of quiet sensitivity

I have become multilayered and complex 

My depths got even deeper

I am an abyss

I am the part of the ocean the mortals never go to 

I am too far away from the unintentional ones, the uninitiated,

You have to be wise from your heart to find me 

Brutally broken, tender like a melting snowflake and so much wiser than me 

Tough love repels me 

I find it arrogant, vulgar and unnecessary 

If you don't have an equally sophisticated pallet as me 

I will be invisible to you and you to me

We will probably never meet again 

If you haven't had to water your colours down with your own blood, sweat and tears for years

And if that hasn't purified you, if it hasn't made you more pure and sensitive 

If it hasn't opened you up to this secret garden 

We have no common ground to stand on

Your hands will lack the needed empathy 

Their receptors will overlook most of the crucial information 

They will look savagely unrefined in my eyes

I will feel bonkers to you, without any context 

Those kinds of hands do not qualify to ever touch me 

They are not worthy enough, not experienced enough 

Your observations will feel off

Your heart will feel like a toddler playing with an empty tin can

Out of context 

And if it was hard for me to be found before 

It's almost impossible now

Because love has always been about understanding 

And you cannot understand or love what you are foreign to nor what is foreign to you 

There has to be some kind of connection 

My hurt has put me in that caged room at the top of Rothbart's tower 

You'd have to intentionally fight him and win, climb the ladders and stairs, make your own bridge out of wood and break my walls to ever be allowed to be around me again 

Because I have no desire to leave here

There is nowhere for me to go to 

Here I am known in my entirety 

I am known within myself 

I don't believe I will ever be seen, even if I am standing in plain sight 

So I might as well stop agonizing 

You never saw me and I was standing right in front of you 

I looked deep into your soul and you still turned your back to me 

I will never knowingly put myself through this ever again. 

I will stay in Rothbart's tower. 

Where I am known and recognized. 

It's the much better alternative to the anticipation of constant disappointment of - almost- love. 

Ps. I guess "basic" is easier, so I don't blame you for choosing it. 

Ps2. I will never love again.