I have stopped living since the day I lost him
I just survive
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
Sometimes I feel a sort of calmness
But
I cannot forgive the world for taking him away
I will never participate in it again
Because I see no point to
I just take in the sunsets and the starry skies it has to offer and the coolness of the sea and the moon and the sunflowers and coffee
Along with the hurt of always losing what I love
And I combine them all
The beauty and the sorrow
into an enormous, endless mosaic filled with the details of the memories of the charming nature of a crooked smile and a flickering star
The smell of rain, the silence of snowfall, the warmth of summer
the moment right before our first and our last kiss
the feeling of everything still being possible
And I look at it from time to time to remind myself that I am real.
It was all real.
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